Nothing Compares to You

The title of this blog is rhetoric to me.. and has a TON of meaning. Those were his last words to me, also the ending to every conversation. It’s not meant to be an ‘i love you’ or an ‘i miss you’, just something we always said. It keeps me thinking that one day happiness will again find me.

Life isn’t always what we want it to be, and I respect that. I never thought I’d lose my best friend to something so sudden or so tragic. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who will relate to me in the same way. The entire relationship seems weird to some people I’m sure, it’s simple really. Sometimes there are people who care for each other but can’t live together. Sometimes we are young and naive and don’t know what to expect. Sometimes we do things that make things change.

It’s all based on a simple decision. We make them hundreds of times everyday, and once we do we can’t change them. I’d give one of my limbs to change his decision that day. Seriously, even my ability to walk. Anything. That’s what friends do. How do you ‘shop’ for friends? Does anyone know? I’ve recently reconnected with a few friends from school, etc but that isn’t enough. I need that interaction with someone who is intelligent, who ‘gets me’ and who can understand. I have to get this straightened out soon because I have a busy few months ahead of me with Grad school and all. I don’t want to forget or replace, I just want to be happy again. I can’t tell you the last day I woke up in a less than p’d off mood, or before 10 am.

Speaking of Grad school. It’s like 3 months away and I still haven’t nailed down which school I’m going to, nor have I finalized my Praxis scores. Those are my main 2 goals for the next month! After that, I will be focusing on finding a permanent home for Addy & I but that’s still a year or so out. By that I may or may not mean locating to another state. We’ll see where life takes us next!

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