Pumpkin Kinda Day.

First of all, I would like to say: this week has been the week from hell. Seriously. It started when I forgot to take a quiz, continued with a super cranky baby, a dog’s toe nail that was cut too short, then a sick baby. Addy scared the bajeezes out of me last night. I’m really not sure what was going on but the on call Dr told me to just keep an eye on her. I’m surprised we have never been to the ER yet. I get so scared sometimes. Since she was sick, she slept in bed with me, which was heaven. Although she doesn’t like to snuggle OR sit still.

Before you have kids, you don’t know if you are going to be a good parent or not. I had no worries until I had a baby of my own. Addy was born, and from the minute she was born that little girl has had problems. First her kidney problem, the 4 hours of agonizing pain I endured when she was born and just didn’t want to come out to see the world, then the late development issues. She has had them since about 6 months, and it worries me to death.. Not only that I feel like I’m not being a good Mommy because everyone else’s kids are walking, talking, even standing up on their own and Addy isn’t. To be honest, her need for more help was my main reason for making the final decision to stay at home instead of one of the other options.
This year I have had entirely too many things happen, much more than one person can easily deal with. On top of that, a very needy baby which has often made me feel like I am on the edge of a balanced life. I love Addy more than anyone or anything in the world. But somedays I simply feel like I can’t go on. I sure hope this feeling goes away soon because I don’t know how much longer I can hang on and keep everything together. I haven’t even been spending much time hunting deals lately- and that is something I love to do.
Here are a couple of pics from our adventure today:


1 Comment »

  1. Ravyn Said:

    I think you’re a wonderful mom!! Kudos to you for voicing your concerns … For anyone who is constantly wondering “Is my baby supposed to be doing this or this?”, this is definitely some really great insight to let everyone know that it’s not about WHEN. Again, I think you’re a wonderful mom!!! PS, Those pics of Addy are ADORABLE!

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