A Heartfelt Day

Ok, so I have to admit- I’ve had this blog draft saved for quite some time. I’ve been bothered by it for a while and have just kept quiet. But this morning when I woke up I realized I have to say it. I’ll begin the story a paragraph or so down, so read on!

Tomorrow, I hope to take Addy for her December photos and to get her first Build-A-Bear. A Build-A-Bear is her reward for walking. I promised her we would stop at that store once she learned how to walk. (Yes, I know she probably doesn’t remember- but I know how it feels to live a life of broken promises, so I’m keeping mine =) ) Every time we walk by the Build-A-Bear store she is mesmerized. I know she won’t understand what she’s doing but I know I’ll enjoy it and take pictures so she won’t forget.

I feel super bad for Addy. Her only friends are Pugs. That means she too thinks she IS a Pug. Rarely ever does she get to play with other kids because my friends kids are different ages, always busy, or just too darn conceited to have playtime.

Granted I don’t have a ton of friends left and that’s perfectly fine- but my heart truly breaks for Addy. Her playtime days consist of playing with Mommy who really doesn’t play like a baby, or pulling on the Pugs tails, faces, and Pug rolls. She is going to grow up just like I did- with lacking a childhood. I never had other kids to play with and was forced to ‘grow-up’ at a very early age. Looking back I HATE that (and FYI I never use the word hate but I’m a little upset here). I was always reading books, doing homework, or playing barbies by myself. It sucked, royally!

What am I going to do? Well, I thought about taking her to toddler reading time at the library but last time we went Addy was the only one there. Maybe I need to go to a different library, or maybe I need to find a way to afford a day of daycare a week so she can go play with others. Either way, I have to do something because I don’t want her to grow up as a loner the way I did.

Perhaps that is the reason Miss Addy has 2, almost 3 rooms full of toys she hardly touches. I want to give her everything- except the one thing she does need, a friend to play with. Don’t get any ideas I don’t want more children for a while. She is a handful by herself- and I don’t want to deprive her of the time she deserves before it’s taken away by a sibling.

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