Archive for Feelings

Time for a blog.. I’ve missed it for a whole week!

Yes, I have been busy the last week. Addy has been getting her molars and has been very attention hungry. 🙂 No, I’m not complaining one bit! I LOVE every minute of it.
A couple of issues I want to address:
2- Accounting stinks. And, by that I mean my income tax class.
3- Lack of family affiliation.

The first 2, pretty self explanatory! The third, not so much. So, here’s what I’m feeling and have been for quite some time. My daughter has absolutely nothing to do with most of her family. Not because we choose for it to be that way either. Anyone want to become her honorary aunt or uncle? Grandparents? I’m open to anything. I remember when I was little, I was constantly with my grandparents on both sides, my aunt, uncles, and we had family gatherings. Maybe it’s me, but it sure doesn’t seem that way for Miss Addy. Family is so important in the upbringing of kids, and we all know I want to raise her in the best way possible. It could be as simple as dinner, a cookout, etc. Heck, I’m even willing to cook and we all know I don’t offer that often. It’s just nice to know there’s someone there when you need them and at this point I’m missing my once adopted family. I’d never have this problem with them. One phone call and they would drop whatever they were doing to come and help, have dinner, or go to the pumpkin patch. I’ve had this thought for quite some time but kept it in hoping it would change before I had to say something. If it doesn’t, I’ll make a change myself and fix it before Addy even notices.

Ahhh I feel much better. On a lighter note, I wanted to also share, after 9 consecutive semesters on the Chancellor’s list and 4 (YES 4!) on the Dean’s List I will be graduating in DECEMBER!! YAY! And, on Thursday I’ll be inducted into Delta Mu Delta, a honor society for Bachelor degree holding business majors. AND Addy will be so graciously attending with my Mom to watch. How exciting!


Choices, history, and the future

I thought this was a humble title for tonight’s blog. Sorry for the extreme length, but I really needed to say all these things.

First, choices. Why did I save the 2 toughest courses, EVER, to take in 1 semester? I hate it when people procrastinate. But, I’ve became a pro at it throughout college! On a lighter note of choices, I just saw a geek win a million bucks on 1 vs 100. That was pretty awesome!
Back to the downside of choices… THINK BEFORE YOU ACT people. One little choice can effect the rest of your life, and the lives of thousands of others. Most of you know what I’m talking about. I’ve lost a dear friend, who was more than a friend to me for MANY years, 5 months ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but my heart has been broken since. All because of a reckless choice and a choice of place to hang out. A great person, seriously, lost to a young person’s recklessness. Will justice ever be served? I hope so, but we all know how the criminal system works.

Ok, think to yourself: Who is that ONE person you can call when you are happy, sad, disappointed, or just plain pissed off? The one who will ALWAYS answer no matter WHERE they are. They would never dream of ‘ignoring’ your call. Got it??

My ONE person was Adam. No matter what happened, or how it happened he listened and gave me his honest ‘get your head out of your ass’ opinion. Whatever words he had to offer would always inspire me to make the right choice. So now, I’m kind of back into my ‘old life’ from before I met him. We met in August 1999 for the first time. Yes, 11 years ago. We started dating the next year in 2000. After that we were best friends for life. Even through all the hard times, we were each other’s ‘rock’. Sounds odd, but is very true. He’d drop everything just to help me out. I’d do the same for him.

That was a bit of history, and I have a bit more.

Today Addy & I went on a little ‘roadtrip’. We visited Adam’s Mom & Sister and saw the great tribute to him. A lake & cabin. He always wanted his own lake, he loved to fish.

After that, we visited my cousin and his family, my brother, and my Grandma. Also very nice. On the way home, I decided to stop by the cemetery to ‘see’ my Grandpa. Death has been a VERY hard subject for me over the past 2 years. When Grandpa died 2 years ago in November, Adam was the one who held my pieces together. Even though we weren’t in a relationship anymore he sat beside me, held my hand, and handed me Kleenex when I needed them. A genuinely nice person.

For those of you who don’t know, my Grandpa is my hero. He taught me everything I know when I was very young. He read books to me, watched me do puppet shows in the living room, helped me grow a 400 pound pumpkin, set up my very first business (a veggie stand out front), he walked me down the aisle when Adam & I married, and he held my hand when things started to crumble. My Grandpa was also one of the greatest men I have EVER met. EVER. He used to drive 30 minutes to pick me up from my house after school, he made me laugh, and brought a great deal of happiness to my life.

In 1990 when my grandpa had brain surgery I was right there beside him. He spent his birthday in the hospital recovering and I brought him an electric screwdriver as a gift. In 1992 when he had open heart surgery, I was right there too. I had a special stuffed animal, and he went to surgery too. His name was DJ. He also had his tonsils taken out when I did, went through open heart surgery with my grandma, and later he was buried with my Grandpa. All I have besides memories is an old rocking chair my Grandpa gave me. I won’t let anyone sit in it. When I need somewhere to collect my thoughts that is where I go. I was so sad when Grandpa passed away and my baby would never get to meet him, or know his silly math problems. My favorite was the one he always told: If you have $100 and want to buy 100 head of livestock what will you buy? I can never remember the prices of the cow, so I can’t solve the problem. I had it figured out by age 5, and many adults never figured it out. Grandpa wasn’t a genius, but he was also an amazing man. I realized today how much I miss him. As an adult we even played the crazy 8 card game together. They say things will get easier after a loss of someone you love. I’m not buying it. My life has been nothing but tough since November 2008. I’ve lost 2 people in my life that were most important to me. Maybe someday my heart will heal, only time will tell.
The future= unknown.

Dear Tuesday…

So, if you haven’t done so already check out my feature on Nana’s Deals & More FB page. I got 33 items the other day for under $10! All were originally over $1 each too =)

Tonight Addy & I had dinner with Mom at Qdoba (one of my FAV places!) Delicious!! Cheese nachos & tortilla soup.

Also, tonight I’m in the mood to share a few old pics of Addy.. I just want everyone to see how’s she’s grown into the pretty little girl she is. Beware, there is one from shortly after her birth (don’t look if you’re squeamish but it’s not THAT bad, promise).

As I’ve said before this little girl is my whole entire world. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I’m so glad I get to be at home with her and teach her all kinds of new things. Words can’t even explain how much I love her and I don’t know what I would without her.

Besides that, I’m a little bit at a loss for words today, mostly because I’m missing my best friend a lot the past few days, who was Always the first person to congratulate me on my accomplishments. Thankfully some of the family helps with the pain I’m feeling after his loss. If nothing else, I just want justice. Let me clarify, I know him leaving us was an accident and no, I’m not pointing the finger at someone, but for every action there is a consequence. Please keep the family in your thoughts and hope for justice to be served. Once a Carter always a Carter and we stick together =)

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More milestones..

As a Mommy, there’s nothing more important than milestones in your little one’s life. Ok, so today I went in to get Addy from her bed after her nap. I heard some weird noises coming from her room. She only slept an hour (all day!). I go in, and she’s standing in her bed squealing and laughing because she found her belly button! One of the cutest things I’ve ever seen! She kept tickling her belly button and laughing.

A few days ago she discovered how to take her diaper off. (no more sleeping naked!). And then to top that off when I woke her up from her nap she pottyed in her bed. Oh no!!

Later today, we went to visit my Grandma. She wanted to go to Bob Evans (not my fav!) So we drove her to Greenfield to have her favorite dinner. I was so sad, because she kept saying I don’t want to eat dinner alone- please stay for dinner. I didn’t have plans (I rarely do) so we stayed until after dinner. We were having dinner, and Addy had one of her choking spells. (They have been gone for at least 6 months now but have recently started showing their ugly face again ) It ended up with Addy throwing up all over herself and me, but she was fine after I did a swoop of the back of her throat. One of the scariest moments in her life (to me). My baby has never choked to the point she turns red and is gasping for air.

I love my little girl so much, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. This little girl makes my heart melt. I’ve never felt love like this before. ❤

The little things..

You don’t have to tell me, I already know. My daughter is completely spoiled. I wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, why have kids if you can’t give them everything they don’t need?
This toy.. cheap, doesn’t make noise and she LOVES it. Happiness is what counts with little ones.

This toy– I’ve searched high and low and was willing to pay $50 for one of these bad boys. Addy’s Nana has one at her house and she loves it. I finally found one today at a resale shop here in town. $3. She’ll love it for years and after a good once over with Clorox, it’s as good as new.

And this, is EXACTLY how Addy left her toybox when it was nap time today. Took her hairbow out, sat it on the floor next to her 2 favorite toys and followed me to her room for some Zzzzz’s. Okay, so my first day on this job isn’t that bad. What a relief! I was a bit nervous, but the rewards for this job are far better than any other job in the world.

A entirely new beginning…

So, I’ve referred to myself as ‘Penny Pinching Mom’ for a while now (out here in cyber world anyway). My new official job title, Addy’s Mommy. Ok, that’s a bit much, but really that is my new job. Taking care of my little one, watching her grow and change, and protecting her from all the harm this crazy world has to offer.

It was a hard thing to do and will cut me even more short on cash, but I’m going to have to pinch some more ¢ents! As is stands, I’ve saved over $1000 in August. If I keep this trend up, I’ll end up way over $2000 per month by this time next year. In August, I got about $300 in FREE stuff. Yep, totally free products (with coupons!!).

I can’t tell you the last time I had a ‘last day on the job’ but I know it was much more pleasant than today. I guess I thought people would want to bid me farewell a little more kindly. Guess I must have pee’d in someone’s cornflakes at some point. Oh well, life goes on. And remember, I now have letters after my name which means something besides thousands in student loan debt. Ashley Carter, B.S.B.A. (and soon) M.S.E. That makes me not only look important, but it gives me self-fulfillment because my Grandpa Joe always wanted me to go to college and make something of myself. Staying at home is only temporary until I finish my Master’s, but I’m going to soak up EVERY single minute of it! I ❤ my little princess like crazy and wish I could have been home with her sooner.

A did you know? … Miss Addysen gets her middle name from my Grandpa Joe.. except hers' is Jo. The most fitting name in the world for that little girl. Is she ever a spitting image of my Grandpa! She has his contrary attitude and things MUST be done her way. Oh, did I say I LOVE that my new boss is a 1 year old? I do, thoroughly.
How could you seriously resist this beautiful face??

Addy Jo at park

PPM’s At It Again!!

I’ve been hiding for a couple of days… that’s because I’m trying to decide which hairbows to make next!

So, I’ve been searching for a freezer for months… not because mine doesn’t work- because I need more room to STOCK UP!!  So, I consulted my friend called Craigs List. I know, I know, creepy weirdos lurk there. Not this time, just one redneck in a jeep without bumpers. Super nice guy. I got a freezer (small one) that is less than 2 years old, with a warranty, for around $100. What a steal. I’ll save that in the next week, so it just paid for itself.

Oh oh! Pick me! I know, we can buy like 50 mac & cheese microwave dinners (my favs!!), bagel bites, and those YUMMY strawberries to freeze for winter when we can’t find fresh ones. I can hear the excitement in Addy’s voice. Lol

Okay, so I wanted to share that piece because I will be sharing some ‘freezer’ meals soon. I hope to cook up meals for those evenings when I just don’t feel like cooking. As most of you know by now, I will soon be staying home with Addy and that’ll be a new adventure for me. I’ve worked since June of 1999, without a break (other than a normal vacation). It’s time for me time, and Addy time. I plan on making a go of a couple of my hobbies to make some extra cash. Wanna learn more? Message me!

Oh, and on another note.. I want to make my bucket list. I think that would be AMAZING! First up, a tattoo. Yep, I wanna brave the pain and get a star since they are my favorite objects ON EARTH!

That’s all for tonight. ❤

Oh Monday, I loathe the…

Ok, the day started off with a ‘bang’. The shower head fell off and pelted me, and the clock in my bedroom was 10 mins slow. That lead me to believe I had more time to get ready than I really did, and ALMOST made me late to work.

So, I get to work and endure hours of that. Yes, endure. It was SUCH a nice day out, I’d SOOO rather be at the park with Addy!

Ok, so to say the very least I got 498/500 points on my business plan (awesome!). I go to look at why I lost 2 points. Get ready for this… my typeface was too ‘artsy’. Eh? Seriously, for a very creative business Calibri is unacceptable?? As my professor said, ‘unprofessional’. Ok, whatever. So the plan was 93 pages when finished.. and I lost another point for not being double spaced. Who wants to read 186 pages? I sure as hell don’t!

You know when you drive by someone who is outside and think to yourself ‘I bet they shop at Wal Mart, or at the very least are on’ Yep, that was me today. Here I am with my iPod, shorts, flip flops, ponytail out mowing the steep hill of a yard I have. I MUST add, with a non-motorized mower. Seriously? Why didn’t I try this before?? Besides going in a non-pattern of lines, it was great. There was no worry of chopping a toe when the mower throws a rock at you, or it taking off and running over the little birds I often see in my yard. Now, I’m sure the sight of me man-handling the mower up and down the hill was enough, I know I’d have thought about me as a ‘Wal Mart person’ as I drove by. It’s okay to talk about people if it’s yourself, right?

That’s all I have for now.. have a great evening!!